An Extract of Life’s Entropy

Everything that comes together falls apart. Everything. The chair I’m sitting on. It was built, and so it will fall apart. I’m gonna fall apart, probably before this chair. And you’re gonna fall apart.
John Green

I never knew that entropy could be so painful.
I never knew that I could be torn in so many ways.
I never knew I’d struggle to make the pieces fit.
I never knew I’d feel so fractured, so broken.
I never knew this jigsaw would be so hard to assemble.
I never knew that I’d feel so much pity for the broken man.

I didn’t see my convictions lead me astray.
I didn’t see the slow meander away from the path.
I didn’t see the shifting sands of time.
I didn’t see the static takeover.
I didn’t see when I stopped nurturing, you & I.
I didn’t see when the tide started rising, consuming.
I didn’t see when I stopped swimming, started drowning.

& now.
I struggle to keep afloat among the tumultuous waters.
I keep getting pulled into the spiral and darkness.
I tread water, gasping for breath & life.
I cry tears, tears that should have stopped years ago.
I have become a child lost in an adult’s world.
I am the product of entropy, my pain the result.
I am living the life of every decision made wrong.
I am walking the path that was never meant for me.

I never knew. I didn’t see.
Yet, here I am. Living my life’s entropy.