We seldom realize, for example that our most private thoughts and emotions are not actually our own. For we think in terms of languages and images which we did not invent, but which were given to us by our society.
Alan W. Watts
I didn’t read the terms and conditions that were drafted when I came into this world. Maybe I was naïve, maybe I was hopeful, maybe I was blind. Isn’t living life in the way it’s supposed to be lived a contract that you create yourself, and not one that’s already created for you? I don’t know about…
Everything that comes together falls apart. Everything. The chair I’m sitting on. It was built, and so it will fall apart. I’m gonna fall apart, probably before this chair. And you’re gonna fall apart.
I never knew that entropy could be so painful.
I never knew that I could be torn in so many ways.
I never knew I’d struggle to make the pieces fit.
I never knew I’d feel so fractured, so broken.
I never knew this jigsaw would be so hard to assemble.
I never knew that I’d feel so much pity for the broken man.
Hold tight, hold tight and sing along. I’m alright, I think I’m alright but I could be wrong. I know you remember me, when you’re in the back of a ride at 3AM; When I’m on the dance floor, all that’s left to do is watch it burn. You couldn’t even look at me, you couldn’t even if you tried; Oh man, oh man, what a damn tragedy. Bang, in a moment, there disappeared paradise; Paradise that I knew better wouldn’t last forever. I’ve always rolled the dice alone, why’d I let you roll it with me; It didn’t even…
Sometimes I feel I am crammed with demons.
The overbearing heavy cloud, grey like the skies that surround it;
Following, lurking, knowing your past & feeding on your regrets.
Bringing the sharpness that has somehow found its way into all the cracks;
The droplets of shame, condense & follow.
I keep reminiscing on my times of weakness;
Unable to shake that feeling that haunts me now.
Failure and self doubt etching itself deep within me;
Eliminating all my hope and my will to continue.
It’s just constantly raining on my parade; Unable to move forward because I’m holding…
Mostly blessings with challenges along the way.
It’s a magical and unexplainable happening.
A friend from a past life
I was recently reacquainted with a friend from a past life.
A life that I vaguely remember, but a part my life that set up the trajectory for what lay ahead. A part that I’ve replayed a thousand and times in my head.
It formed and shaped me, more than I’d like to admit.
And it set up the obstacles and challenges that I’d spend the next decade navigating, growing from and learning in ways I didn’t know-how.
When I asked…
Reconcile with your heart and mind then allow your soul to penetrate through the veil of all illusions.
How does one reconcile their own headspace ;
Those internal dialogues we have with ourselves;
Those intrusive thoughts;
The personal trials and tribulations;
The unknown and the uncertainty;
The secrets we keep to ourselves.
With our army on the outside.
The army that surrounds us, supports us and keeps us alive;
Those that ask how we are doing;
Check in with us;
Want to keep us occupied so as not to let the intrusive and dark thoughts ruminate our minds;
& just want to genuinely reach out and give their support and love in the ways they know and can.
It is a paradox of the heart, the mind and the soul.
Mostly it is loss which teaches us about the worth of things.
“I’m sorry” you said. And then you left.
But with you leaving, I lost so much more than that.
And as I sit here, day on day repeating.
The nights are becoming longer and harder.
I am reminded, that you weren’t just the gatekeeper of my heart;
But you were also the gatekeeper to all things good.
It was having a soldier to fight away my intrusive thoughts;
Now my thoughts are take over every bone in my body.
It was the feelings of warmth when…
What do you do when you feel your your sense of self — the one person you are — slowly being taken away from you. |
Collapsing. Crumbling. Corroding.
Breaking away right in front of your eyes.
For some people, at some point in there life, they experience an event that causes so much pain.
A force, so toxic, that slowly chips away at the good things in life;
The foundation and all things that make life, the experience that is life.
The one you’ve spent so long carefully creating and meticulously mending.
When you see it slowly being taken away from you — it’s paralytic.
It is the darkest of our human condition, one that so many go through;
Yet we are so powerless to stop it.
We really are nothing but pawns in the game that is life.